Moving homes is the third most traumatic event in a
child's life, just after death and divorce. Not only do
children have to adjust to a new home and school, but all
their best friends will typically be left behind. There are
many things that parents can do to make a move easier for
their children.
Let Children Participate in Planning the Move - One of the
most important things parents can do is to allow their
children to participate in the planning process. In addition
to helping with important decisions, children should be
involved with packing and unpacking their own belongings.
Knowing where their possessions are gives them some control
over a situation that, otherwise, seems completely out of
their control.
Leave a memorial behind. A child can plant a tree or hide a
special toy where no one will ever find it. This creates a
lasting connection and lets children feel that "they are a
part of this house, and it's a part of them, even though
they're moving to a new neighborhood."
Exchange Gifts With Friends -
It may also help your children to exchange gifts with some
of their best friends. In doing this, they'll know that
something of theirs is with their friends. They will always
have something special to help them remember their friends.
And--not to forget--it's always important to exchange
e-mails and phone numbers so everyone can keep in touch. A
reassuring phone call or e-mail can make it seem like
nothing has changed at all.
A few years ago our family went on vacation to New York for
one month. My son
really missed his best friend who lives next door. On a few
of the evenings, I let him use my cell phone to chat to his
best friend for about 30 minutes. This helped him feel
connected and happy.
When arriving in a new neighborhood, it's essential that
parents walk the streets with their children, so they can
become comfortable and familiar with their new surroundings.
Before a child has to face a new school alone, it's a good
idea to make a visit together to break the ice. Just knowing
who the new teacher is and where the bathroom is located can
reduce a great deal of anxiety. Perhaps the most
difficult moving experience for children is making new
friends. This can be very awkward, but parents should take
the time to teach their children how to easily introduce
themselves. Using a few common tips, a child can have
several new friends in no time.
Kids Feel Better After a Move
- Most children adjust well in time and actually feel
they're better off after a move. Children discover how
moving can actually be fun, and in the end, they end up
having even more friends. Always be positive in discussing
the move with your children.
